


Boredom, Booze & Chicken-Type Alien Menaces

by afteriwake



Series: The Further Voyages Of The Starship Enterprise [5]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alien Chickens are a Menace, Aliens, Angry Nyota, Bets & Wagers, Chickens, Gen, Humor, Injured Sulu, Mentioned Spock/Nyota Uhura - Freeform, Pretend This Never Happened, Search for Aliens, Spock's Room is Ruined, lost bets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Bones and Scotty make a bet while drunk and bored that has...unforeseen consequences.





	Boredom, Booze & Chicken-Type Alien Menaces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idlewildracer246](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idlewildracer246/gifts), [GreenSkyOverMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSkyOverMe/gifts).



> So this is a (much belated) Christmas present to my kidlet and **GreenSkyOverMe** that I had planned on writing last year, answering the prompt " _[I wanna see Bones and Scotty see how long they can keep a chicken each on the Enterprise before Spock finds out](http://sleepymccoy.tumblr.com/post/139649105339/i-wish-star-trek-had-more-prank-based-sub-plots)_." Enjoy!

It came from a night where the Captain didn’t join them in the bar that was their shared bathroom. Mostly it came out of a bit too much scotch whiskey and a bit of boredom, but it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time: each of them gets a chicken and hide it from Spock. Whoever hid theirs the longest got the whole bottle of Vulcan port that sat proudly on their bar to themselves, to share with whoever they felt like. 

If they had known how much trouble this prank would cause, they would have just split the bottle like gentlemen and had some fried chicken from the mess. But no. That was not how it played out.

**\---**

“That’s not a chicken, Scotty!” Bones hissed as he spied the purple and black chicken-like thing Scotty was trying to keep quiet down in engineering.

“I had to make do with what I could!” Scotty hissed, attempting to feed the beast. And a beast it was; Bones had no idea how he had managed to smuggle the...thing...on board. Probably disguised it in a box of engineering parts from their last port of call. But _he’d_ managed to get a Rhode Island Red, so how had Scotty ended up with this alien problem?

As the creature went to feed from Scotty’s hand and nearly bit off his finger, Bones decided maybe it was better off not knowing. Getting it found out would be the best option, and he’d just give Scotty the liquor if he promised never to have a dare again.

**\---**

“Scotty, where did it go?” Bones asked as he shined his flashlight into another dark crevice in the engineering bay.

“If I _knew_ I wouldn’t have asked for your bloody help,” Scotty said. Then he sniffed the air. “Oh no.”

“Oh no, what?” Bones asked.

“He took a dump somewhere. His feces can burn through metal.”

“And it’s on a metal ship,” Bones said with a groan. “If you don’t tell Spock about this thing that is a chicken on alien steroids I will.”

“And cost me the bet? Not a--” There was a pause and then a yelp. Bones had the feeling Scotty had found the alien feces. Hopefully, the alien beast would not be far behind.

But first, to see how bad the damage to whatever part of Scotty’s body had encountered the feces was.

**\---**

“I swear, it pecked at Sulu’s leg and just nearly took out a chunk of muscle!” Kirk looked at Bones with wide eyes. “I’ve never heard a scream that high-pitched before. Then it moved over to Chekov and there were some inventive Russian curses, let me tell you.”

Bones bit his lip, hopefully like he was looking over Sulu’s wound seriously. Instead, he was trying to figure out how badly Scotty would react to the ruined bet if Bones ratted him out. This thing that Scotty had gotten on board was no chicken-like alien.

It was a goddamn menace, that’s what it was.

“Captain,” Spock said over the intercom.

“Go ahead, Spock,” Kirk said in reply.

“There appears to be an alien creature in my quarters that matches the description of the creature that attacked Lieutenant Sulu. It appears to be feasting on a chicken in the middle of my bed.”

“Get out, make sure the thing doesn’t escape and get security to get up to your quarters with phasers on kill.” Kirk looked up at Bones. “You know anything about the chicken or the alien thing?”

“No,” Bones said, hoping Kirk couldn’t tell he was lying.

Kirk gave him a critical look and then turned away. “My ship’s turned into a freaking zoo, that’s what it is,” he muttered as he left the med bay. Bones let out the breath he was holding when Kirk exited and then turned to work on Sulu.

Looks like they both lost the bet.

**\---**

“The stench is abominable,” Spock said, looking at the bottle of liquor being handed to him. 

“Well, share this with Uhura in your temporary quarters and she might forgive you,” Scotty said, pushing the bottle into Spock’s hands. “The lass likes a good drink, and we know it does nothing to you.”

“My physiology means alcohol affects me differently,” Spock said, looking up at them in confusion. “Would you be attempting to try and work around that?”

“Nah, we just don’t want an angry Uhura,” Bones said. “Go enjoy it and...forget about the damage to the room.” Spock nodded, giving them both a curious look and then he turned and walked away. Bones looked at Scotty and then nodded towards their quarters. “We never speak of this again?” he asked Scotty.

Scotty nodded. “Never again.”


End file.
